As the season changes and things get warmer outside, for some reason, I'm chilly. Frigid, even.
I've mentally retreated from the fresh sunshine and the budding greenery all around me. It's all beautiful, but the sight of it has not uplifted me. Not yet, at least.
Not myself right now. I'm cold.
My body is here. Mind? Displaced. In the Arctic desert. Strolling. Meandering.
I know my way back to safety. Just have to look to the light.
I have wandered off too far, however. The congealed ground beneath me has begun to part.
HELP!
Who am I kidding...I'm the only one out here. Sound advice rejected. Former friends have neglected.
So what do I do now?
Out here on thin ice. Hoping not to fall into the void caused from struggles within.
What if I fall? Walk on water? Keep swimming?
Can't sink. I just can't.
I need instinct to kick in. To save me. To rescue me.
That's what I get for wandering on thin ice. I thought the silence would be refreshing, but...
I'm lonely, instead.
Man was not meant to be alone. Where is my neighbor?
This was well-written man! I didn't know you were feeling like this, but I definitely do know that this is only a temporary experience (that feels like a taste of eternity I know). Those "down" periods where things/people/self-esteem seem to be draining aren't any reflections of you or your ability/knowledge/skills, nor are you being punished....it's all just God's way of taking you out of one stage of life to the next. When this period passes, and you look back on it, a lot of the questions will make more sense...like the old folks always say "you'll understand it better by and by"...one of those old sayings that really really really is true, as you move further away from this "checkpoint" stage. You'll be fine my friend!!! BETTER than fine, as you're already on your path to greatness Mr. Taco Jacobs lol
ReplyDeletewe must venture out at times to test the extent of our grit, and that may involve treading on thin ice, while carrying heavy cargo on our shoulders. . .we take the first step out, and we're amazed that we did that much, so we keep going. Once we hear the crack, we wonder what we were thinking in the first place.
ReplyDeleteThen, we feel like we haven't been acting like our self. Think back on the things you've went through in your past that you thought you couldn't get out of...how'd you end up getting out of it? Would you have been better off by not baring it out for a minute?
As Marcus said, it makes more sense later on. I used to ask a lot of questions about certain things. It was only years later when i got the answer. That's when I was able to understand it all. It takes time, homie