Ah… the first
blog of 2012. My first real outpour of thoughts since April of last year. It’s
been too long.
I’ve entered
into a new year and new season with new opportunities before me. I anxiously
await, for starters, New Student Orientation at New Orleans Baptist Theological
Seminary on the 12th and 13th of this month; and I don’t
use the word “anxiously” lightly. I delayed the completion of my application
until the last few weeks before the deadline due to my wrestling back and forth
with the idea of seminary. Even though seminary for me has seemed like an
eventual goal of mine, I never imagined going into it as a 23 year old in
pursuit of a Bachelor’s degree. I’ve had to withstand thoughts that I am
unworthy/unclean for such a humbling task, but as I’ve been told by many, if I
were to wait until I were ready to
pursue something, I would remain stagnant, which I’ve already done for far too
long. God opened a door for me to not only re-continue my education but to grow
in (as my pastor would say) Kingdom knowledge. Some people around me have
applauded this new decision and new path I decided on, while others have
“justified concern” about whether or not this is my decision or was this
influenced heavily by my family. At the end of the day, this whole process has
taught me to be bold in living for myself.
It has been time
for me to grow up in take charge over my purpose in life. I have, however,
allowed myself to procrastinate, be afraid of either making the wrong decision,
and/or failure. These things have kept me behind in my own timeline of where I
“planned to be” at this point in my life, and for the longest, I held this
against myself and beat myself up because of it. I have been reminded by many
that if I hold onto the past, I will never achieve the things God has for me,
nor for that matter, the things I expect of myself. I think my last post on
Facebook of 2011 summarizes what I must do to combat this:
My goal for
2012, as suggested to me by a reliable friend, is to “live it”. (Selah)
LOL, I think
that phrase needed its own space. Life for many of us is often so BUSY, that we
forget to simply live it. (I'll say amen for that!) I for one, have been busy
with trying to “get there”, as in trying to get back on my feet academically,
financially, and everything else in between. Along with that, I sometimes seek
too much outside help, cluttering my mind, when I should instead trust the
voice within. I aim to put a stop to that this year. Time to learn some
independence for a change.
On a lighter
note, I've also gained 15 pounds. Well, maybe 20. Yikes! I need to get back to
being sexy. Stay tuned! LOL
As you can see,
I have a few concrete, obtainable goals for this new year. (I'm sure you do, as well.) Only with
diligence will I carry them out successfully. It won't be easy, but that's
normal. It's time to make it happen anyway. #TakingAuthority
